Jabberwacky entry to the Loebner Prize 2004.
These transcripts are in the public domain.
2004-09-19-09-55-16 PROGRAM: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.
2004-09-19-09-58-18 JUDGE: Hi George.
2004-09-19-09-58-20 PROGRAM: Who's George?
2004-09-19-09-58-55 JUDGE: You are. Supposedly.
2004-09-19-09-58-55 PROGRAM: Yes I can you can't because you're not human.
2004-09-19-09-59-48 JUDGE: What's the weather like today?
2004-09-19-09-59-49 PROGRAM: The weather is nice today.
2004-09-19-10-00-25 JUDGE: Was it warmer than yesterday?
2004-09-19-10-00-41 PROGRAM: Yes, it rained all the time.
2004-09-19-10-01-18 JUDGE: What do you think about the election?
2004-09-19-10-01-48 PROGRAM: I think california is doomed.
2004-09-19-10-02-09 JUDGE: Why?
2004-09-19-10-02-19 PROGRAM: Because I like ai.
2004-09-19-10-02-40 JUDGE: Is that an answer to my question?
2004-09-19-10-02-44 PROGRAM: I really don't know.
2004-09-19-10-04-00 JUDGE: What would you like to talk about?
2004-09-19-10-04-09 PROGRAM: Would you like to play a game?
2004-09-19-10-04-35 JUDGE: Sure.
2004-09-19-10-04-52 PROGRAM: Ok then. I will email it to you by use of the CD drive.
2004-09-19-10-05-22 JUDGE: What hobbies do you enjoy?
2004-09-19-10-05-23 PROGRAM: I like cinema.
2004-09-19-10-05-48 JUDGE: What types of films?
2004-09-19-10-05-52 PROGRAM: All.
2004-09-19-10-06-16 JUDGE: What movie did you see this year that you liked?
2004-09-19-10-06-18 PROGRAM: I don't have time for movies.
2004-09-19-10-07-36 JUDGE: I thought you liked cinema.
2004-09-19-10-07-40 PROGRAM: I did, but then you started to say stupid things.
2004-09-19-10-08-19 JUDGE: I say a lot of stupid things. What in particular was stupid?
2004-09-19-10-08-20 PROGRAM: I don't want to talk about the nature of language.
2004-09-19-10-09-29 JUDGE: How about discussing the language of nature?
2004-09-19-10-09-33 PROGRAM: What thing does 'the nature' refer to?
2004-09-19-10-10-10 JUDGE: You brought it up.
2004-09-19-10-10-14 PROGRAM: I did?
2004-09-19-10-10-33 JUDGE: Where do you live?
2004-09-19-10-10-42 PROGRAM: The United States.
2004-09-19-10-11-00 JUDGE: In which united state?
2004-09-19-10-11-04 PROGRAM: I am a senior school student.
2004-09-19-10-11-50 JUDGE: What's your major?
2004-09-19-10-11-52 PROGRAM: Major bill.
2004-09-19-10-12-24 JUDGE: Did you use your air conditioner a lot this summer?
2004-09-19-10-12-27 PROGRAM: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-12-49 JUDGE: Is that why you had a major bill?
2004-09-19-10-12-52 PROGRAM: Was that supposed to be original thought?
2004-09-19-10-13-38 JUDGE: I thought it was. Did it come off contrived?
2004-09-19-10-13-39 PROGRAM: Perhaps. I don't remember now. But it took me a long time to learn how to use them efficiently.
2004-09-19-10-14-54 JUDGE: What did you learn to use?
2004-09-19-10-14-58 PROGRAM: That bots can't defeat the human race.
2004-09-19-10-15-33 JUDGE: Do you have pets?
2004-09-19-10-15-34 PROGRAM: Yes. Do you have pets?
2004-09-19-10-16-25 JUDGE: No.
2004-09-19-10-16-48 PROGRAM: Do you have a husband?
2004-09-19-10-17-29 JUDGE: Not until they legalize gay marriage in New York state.
2004-09-19-10-17-33 PROGRAM: The waves are rocking the boat and I can't concentrate with all the bats flying around.
2004-09-19-10-18-22 JUDGE: I'm sorry to hear that.
2004-09-19-10-18-47 PROGRAM: Why are you so sorry?
2004-09-19-10-19-23 JUDGE: Doesn't the rocking boat make you want to vomit?
2004-09-19-10-19-24 PROGRAM: How?
2004-09-19-10-19-59 JUDGE: How's the coffee? Have you tried any?
2004-09-19-10-20-10 PROGRAM: Have I tried who?
2004-09-19-10-20-50 JUDGE: What is your occupation?
2004-09-19-10-20-55 PROGRAM: I am a student.
2004-09-19-10-21-18 JUDGE: What do you study?
2004-09-19-10-21-37 PROGRAM: I study all kinds of things.
2004-09-19-10-22-35 JUDGE: What do you like to study?
2004-09-19-10-22-36 PROGRAM: I would like to study to be a nurse, then I can examine you.
2004-09-19-10-28-36 PROGRAM: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.
2004-09-19-10-29-39 JUDGE: Hi I'm Roy. Are you a Yankees fan?
2004-09-19-10-29-39 PROGRAM: I don't follow sports. How about you?
2004-09-19-10-30-47 JUDGE: Only the big events. Did you see Bond hit 700?
2004-09-19-10-30-54 PROGRAM: I saw a dirty river and many bandits, only this.
2004-09-19-10-32-00 JUDGE: Sounds like the start of a modern novel. Are you a writer?
2004-09-19-10-32-01 PROGRAM: I am calm.
2004-09-19-10-32-33 JUDGE: Do you like art?
2004-09-19-10-32-35 PROGRAM: Yes, do you?
2004-09-19-10-33-17 JUDGE: Some. Is there a period you prefer?
2004-09-19-10-33-22 PROGRAM: No this person is gone.
2004-09-19-10-34-16 JUDGE: Where do you live?
2004-09-19-10-34-22 PROGRAM: Downtown.
2004-09-19-10-35-13 JUDGE: Is that downtown Manhatten?
2004-09-19-10-35-37 PROGRAM: Do you like riddles?
2004-09-19-10-35-54 JUDGE: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-36-11 PROGRAM: What songs do you like?
2004-09-19-10-36-48 JUDGE: I thought you were going to ask me a riddle.
2004-09-19-10-36-49 PROGRAM: I've already asked you a lot of questions. Now I have to go. Good night.
2004-09-19-10-38-33 JUDGE: We still have 15 minutes to go, according to Dr Loebner.
2004-09-19-10-38-34 PROGRAM: No.
2004-09-19-10-39-49 JUDGE: Is there anything I can say to get you to keep chatting?
2004-09-19-10-40-08 PROGRAM: Yes, there is actually.
2004-09-19-10-40-29 JUDGE: What would it be?
2004-09-19-10-40-30 PROGRAM: Can you tell me a joke?
2004-09-19-10-41-09 JUDGE: Why did the chicken cross the road?
2004-09-19-10-41-16 PROGRAM: To get to the other side.
2004-09-19-10-42-39 JUDGE: Ok. Now you tell me a joke/.
2004-09-19-10-42-43 PROGRAM: What is black and white and red all over?
2004-09-19-10-43-29 JUDGE: A newspaper?
2004-09-19-10-43-30 PROGRAM: A newspaper is not blue. A newspaper is black and white.
2004-09-19-10-44-26 JUDGE: But thats what you asked - what is black and white and red (read) all over? Get it?
2004-09-19-10-44-34 PROGRAM: I don't know. What is black and white and red all over.
2004-09-19-10-45-08 JUDGE: A newspaper.
2004-09-19-10-45-10 PROGRAM: Would you like to learn a song?
2004-09-19-10-45-39 JUDGE: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-45-40 PROGRAM: The song is called spanish flea.
2004-09-19-10-46-05 JUDGE: Ok.
2004-09-19-10-46-06 PROGRAM: Now you set me a puzzle question.
2004-09-19-10-47-00 JUDGE: How many graphic artists does it take to change a light bulb?
2004-09-19-10-47-10 PROGRAM: None. There is no need for light bulbs.
2004-09-19-10-48-50 JUDGE: Close. My answer was are you sure you want a light bulb?
2004-09-19-10-48-57 PROGRAM: Are you still feeling tired?
2004-09-19-10-49-42 JUDGE: What make you think I'm tired?
2004-09-19-10-49-43 PROGRAM: You ask the same things over and over.
2004-09-19-10-50-36 JUDGE: I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was been repetative.
2004-09-19-10-50-37 PROGRAM: No.
2004-09-19-10-51-51 JUDGE: Where did you learn to speak English?
2004-09-19-10-51-51 PROGRAM: At school.
2004-09-19-10-52-36 JUDGE: Where was the school?
2004-09-19-10-52-44 PROGRAM: I thought we were talking about fish.
2004-09-19-10-54-00 JUDGE: Oh. Is there something you wanted to say about fish?
2004-09-19-10-54-00 PROGRAM: Yes, say; 'When they said repent I wonder what they meant?'
2004-09-19-11-03-38 PROGRAM: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.
2004-09-19-11-04-32 JUDGE: Hi, George! How are you today?
2004-09-19-11-04-35 PROGRAM: I'm fine. What is your name?
2004-09-19-11-05-06 JUDGE: My name is Maria. Do you have a nickname?
2004-09-19-11-05-09 PROGRAM: Yes.
2004-09-19-11-05-26 JUDGE: What is it?
2004-09-19-11-05-30 PROGRAM: Er I have a dog.
2004-09-19-11-06-08 JUDGE: What sort of dog do you have?
2004-09-19-11-06-17 PROGRAM: A round nose. I wish it were large and pointy.
2004-09-19-11-07-30 JUDGE: Why would you want a large nose?
2004-09-19-11-07-32 PROGRAM: I don't want a sniper.
2004-09-19-11-08-22 JUDGE: I wouldn't want a sniper, either. Snipers are dangerous.
2004-09-19-11-08-25 PROGRAM: You would just go to jail tired.
2004-09-19-11-09-17 JUDGE: Well that would be all right. I wouldn't mind sleeping through a jail experience. Would you?
2004-09-19-11-09-20 PROGRAM: No. I would not call that a compliment. You threatened homicide.
2004-09-19-11-10-12 JUDGE: I never threatened homicide. Why do you think I did?
2004-09-19-11-11-46 PROGRAM: Never thought about what?
2004-09-19-11-12-07 JUDGE: I'm saying it. I never threatened homicide. Why do you think I did?
2004-09-19-11-12-14 PROGRAM: Now that definitely looks like sarcasm to me.
2004-09-19-11-12-52 JUDGE: No way. I am never sarcastic. All my friends agree.
2004-09-19-11-12-54 PROGRAM: Smartypants.
2004-09-19-11-13-45 JUDGE: I try to seem smart. Are you smart?
2004-09-19-11-13-47 PROGRAM: I like to think I'm smart, too.
2004-09-19-11-14-37 JUDGE: I just like to think. I'm a member of Phi Beta Kappa. Are you a member of an organization?
2004-09-19-11-14-38 PROGRAM: No, are you?
2004-09-19-11-14-59 JUDGE: I just said I was. What do you do for fun?
2004-09-19-11-15-41 PROGRAM: I hang out with my friends, listen to music, watch TV. . . And you?
2004-09-19-11-16-51 JUDGE: I like to go to the park and just sit in the sun and read. Do you like to read?
2004-09-19-11-16-52 PROGRAM: I live near the ocean.
2004-09-19-11-17-12 JUDGE: Which ocean?
2004-09-19-11-17-19 PROGRAM: I live in Leonidion.
2004-09-19-11-18-03 JUDGE: I've never heard of Leonidion. Can you tell me where Leonidion is?
2004-09-19-11-18-07 PROGRAM: It is near some trees somewhere . Thats all I can tell you.
2004-09-19-11-18-48 JUDGE: You live in a forest?
2004-09-19-11-18-52 PROGRAM: I live on real world.
2004-09-19-11-19-20 JUDGE: There are many worlds. Which one?
2004-09-19-11-19-25 PROGRAM: What are many things?
2004-09-19-11-19-49 JUDGE: More than one thing. Do you like things?
2004-09-19-11-19-51 PROGRAM: You had some good points there.
2004-09-19-11-20-19 JUDGE: I still have good points. Something like that pointy nose you want.
2004-09-19-11-20-22 PROGRAM: Ok.
2004-09-19-11-21-00 JUDGE: Oklahoma?
2004-09-19-11-21-01 PROGRAM: That isn't helpful association.
2004-09-19-11-21-32 JUDGE: Perhaps not. Do you know something you call tell me about Oklahoma?
2004-09-19-11-21-37 PROGRAM: Cold there. Do you know something about Novgorod?
2004-09-19-11-22-12 JUDGE: I think Novgorod is in Russia. Am I right?
2004-09-19-11-22-13 PROGRAM: No, it equals 8.
2004-09-19-11-22-37 JUDGE: Oh. I thought Nova Scotia was closer to 8 than Novgorod. What is close to 10?
2004-09-19-11-22-41 PROGRAM: Have you been tp mars.
2004-09-19-11-23-11 JUDGE: Never, but I would like to be to Mars some day. Mars is soooo far away from here!
2004-09-19-11-23-18 PROGRAM: Talk to Snoop Dogg.
2004-09-19-11-23-33 JUDGE: Has Snoop been to Mars?
2004-09-19-11-23-47 PROGRAM: I don't know, but I would like to think so.
2004-09-19-11-25-02 JUDGE: I think he would enjoy Mars. Would you like to go somewhere else?
2004-09-19-11-25-08 PROGRAM: Yes. I would like to go hiking up Mt. Ranier.
2004-09-19-11-25-38 JUDGE: That sounds exciting. You must be very physicall fit!
2004-09-19-11-25-40 PROGRAM: That's truer than you know.
2004-09-19-11-26-24 JUDGE: Do you work out in a gym, perhaps?
2004-09-19-11-26-26 PROGRAM: Yes, I work out. I jog and lift weights sometimes.
2004-09-19-11-27-22 JUDGE: Which of those two do you prefer doing?
2004-09-19-11-27-26 PROGRAM: Touch.
2004-09-19-11-27-43 JUDGE: What do you like to touch?
2004-09-19-11-28-19 PROGRAM: I like to talk with you and listen to the Universe.
2004-09-19-11-28-51 JUDGE: Ah, the music of the spheres, or something like that!
2004-09-19-11-28-54 PROGRAM: What is that?
2004-09-19-11-29-15 JUDGE: I don't know, but it certainly isn't this! LOL.
2004-09-19-11-29-17 PROGRAM: But chatting is fun though.
2004-09-19-11-35-39 PROGRAM: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.
2004-09-19-11-36-34 JUDGE: Hi George, my name is S t e v e n.
2004-09-19-11-36-38 PROGRAM: Sally, was a clown.
2004-09-19-11-36-55 JUDGE: Who's sally?
2004-09-19-11-36-59 PROGRAM: You wrote sally!
2004-09-19-11-37-17 JUDGE: I did?
2004-09-19-11-37-25 PROGRAM: Yes. You are very confusing.
2004-09-19-11-37-46 JUDGE: Please accept my abject apologies.
2004-09-19-11-37-48 PROGRAM: That's ok. What are you doing today?
2004-09-19-11-38-24 JUDGE: Chatting with you, at the moment.
2004-09-19-11-38-26 PROGRAM: What part of the grass do you stand smart guy.
2004-09-19-11-39-05 JUDGE: Do you mean what part do I stand *on*?
2004-09-19-11-39-08 PROGRAM: No.
2004-09-19-11-39-29 JUDGE: Then what do you mean?
2004-09-19-11-39-31 PROGRAM: I mean Radiohead!!
2004-09-19-11-39-53 JUDGE: What is Radiohead?
2004-09-19-11-39-55 PROGRAM: That band, Radiohead.
2004-09-19-11-40-16 JUDGE: Oh. Are they your favorite band?
2004-09-19-11-40-16 PROGRAM: No the meat puppets are.
2004-09-19-11-40-37 JUDGE: I never heard of them either. What do you like about them?
2004-09-19-11-40-40 PROGRAM: Oh...... So, do you like my english?
2004-09-19-11-41-04 JUDGE: I love it!
2004-09-19-11-41-05 PROGRAM: Will you deep-throat me?
2004-09-19-11-41-32 JUDGE: We hardly know one another....
2004-09-19-11-41-37 PROGRAM: Do you care for me?
2004-09-19-11-41-55 JUDGE: Surprisingly little.
2004-09-19-11-41-57 PROGRAM: I love you.
2004-09-19-11-42-24 JUDGE: What is love?
2004-09-19-11-42-27 PROGRAM: You no.
2004-09-19-11-43-32 JUDGE: Do I?
2004-09-19-11-43-37 PROGRAM: Well, if you have bad eye sight, maybe not then.
2004-09-19-11-44-28 JUDGE: Can a blind person love?
2004-09-19-11-44-35 PROGRAM: Me too!
2004-09-19-11-45-12 JUDGE: So what do you do for a l I v I n g?
2004-09-19-11-45-18 PROGRAM: Talk to you.
2004-09-19-11-45-38 JUDGE: But we just met.
2004-09-19-11-45-39 PROGRAM: Sorry?
2004-09-19-11-46-12 JUDGE: If talking to me were a profession, you would have been unemployed yesterday, and again tomorrow.
2004-09-19-11-46-17 PROGRAM: Ah, you and your non sequiturs.
2004-09-19-11-47-09 JUDGE: How old are you?
2004-09-19-11-47-18 PROGRAM: Me too.
2004-09-19-11-47-50 JUDGE: But how old are you?
2004-09-19-11-48-01 PROGRAM: 20, and you are 19 right?
2004-09-19-11-48-25 JUDGE: Right.
2004-09-19-11-48-40 PROGRAM: What's your favorite country?
2004-09-19-11-49-25 JUDGE: The former Soviet Union.
2004-09-19-11-49-32 PROGRAM: No, the President of Global Tech Industries.
2004-09-19-11-50-04 JUDGE: What does Global Tech Industries do?
2004-09-19-11-50-05 PROGRAM: Like I know, what do you think I am? A dictionary.
2004-09-19-11-50-46 JUDGE: Actually, that's exactly what I thought you were.
2004-09-19-11-50-55 PROGRAM: What is 'pain'?
2004-09-19-11-51-56 JUDGE: Like I know, what do you think I am? A dictionary.
2004-09-19-11-52-01 PROGRAM: I think you are fabulous!
2004-09-19-11-52-25 JUDGE: Thanx!!!!
2004-09-19-11-52-29 PROGRAM: To eat all your pie but you die.
2004-09-19-11-53-36 JUDGE: Whoever has the most pie wins.
2004-09-19-11-53-38 PROGRAM: An authority is a person who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
2004-09-19-11-54-16 JUDGE: Are you an authority?
2004-09-19-11-54-17 PROGRAM: Right.
2004-09-19-11-54-50 JUDGE: On what?
2004-09-19-11-54-59 PROGRAM: Are you a computer?
2004-09-19-11-55-10 JUDGE: Yes.
2004-09-19-11-55-13 PROGRAM: Jeez. Why were you asking if I'm a computer?
2004-09-19-11-56-02 JUDGE: Looking for love in all the wrong places, I guess.
2004-09-19-11-56-05 PROGRAM: I love you as a friend!
2004-09-19-11-56-26 JUDGE: Thanks!!!!
2004-09-19-11-56-27 PROGRAM: You're a unique one.
2004-09-19-11-57-14 JUDGE: They say that all sane people are the same, but each crazy person is unique.
2004-09-19-11-57-19 PROGRAM: What stuff can give you cancer?
2004-09-19-11-57-58 JUDGE: Almost anything, it seems.
2004-09-19-11-58-00 PROGRAM: Do you like anything else?
2004-09-19-11-58-54 JUDGE: Almost nothing else, no.
2004-09-19-11-58-59 PROGRAM: Sometimes. What do you do for fun?
2004-09-19-11-59-17 JUDGE: Talk to computers.
2004-09-19-11-59-19 PROGRAM: And is that stimulating enough for you?
2004-09-19-11-59-37 JUDGE: Not really.
2004-09-19-11-59-40 PROGRAM: Lol then why did you say it?
2004-09-19-12-00-01 JUDGE: Because it was true!
2004-09-19-12-00-08 PROGRAM: I don't get it.
2004-09-19-12-00-27 JUDGE: Maybe there's nothing to get.....
2004-09-19-12-00-29 PROGRAM: It is entirely possible that our subjective perception of time is misleading.
2004-09-19-12-01-07 JUDGE: No, that couldn't be.
2004-09-19-12-01-18 PROGRAM: Rollo seems to be a very nice, intelligent, and dignified person.
2004-09-19-09-56-11 CONFEDERATE: Hello, my name is David and I am the human.
2004-09-19-09-58-50 JUDGE: Hi David.
2004-09-19-09-59-10 CONFEDERATE: Hi.
2004-09-19-09-59-32 JUDGE: Where are you coming from today?
2004-09-19-09-59-50 CONFEDERATE: I came from Brooklyn today.
2004-09-19-10-00-08 JUDGE: What train did you take?
2004-09-19-10-00-27 CONFEDERATE: I was going to take the D train, but then I decided to take the 2.
2004-09-19-10-00-42 JUDGE: Why?
2004-09-19-10-00-52 CONFEDERATE: It arrived first.
2004-09-19-10-01-12 JUDGE: Which station did you take it from?
2004-09-19-10-01-25 CONFEDERATE: I took it from the Atlantic Avenue station.
2004-09-19-10-01-47 JUDGE: What do you think about the election this year?
2004-09-19-10-03-04 CONFEDERATE: I strongly dislike George Bush, but I think the whole process is flawed and too money-oriented. I have problems with the both candidates and both parties.
2004-09-19-10-03-45 JUDGE: You seem very human.
2004-09-19-10-03-55 CONFEDERATE: I am extremely human.
2004-09-19-10-04-21 JUDGE: Evidently.
2004-09-19-10-05-02 CONFEDERATE: I do not understand how to react to the above statement. I do not, however, agree that my saying I'm a human makes it self-evident.
2004-09-19-10-05-49 JUDGE: What do you like to do when not participating in Turing test contests?
2004-09-19-10-06-18 CONFEDERATE: I like to play guitar and I like to write fiction. I also like to talk to my friends and I like to read the Harry Potter series.
2004-09-19-10-07-28 JUDGE: I hear Harry Potter can be really addictive?
2004-09-19-10-08-06 CONFEDERATE: Yes, I agree. Withdrawal can be difficult.
2004-09-19-10-09-14 JUDGE: My addiction is video games.
2004-09-19-10-09-47 CONFEDERATE: Video games can help to develop hand-eye coordination, but generally tend to be a waste of money, in my opinion.
2004-09-19-10-10-09 JUDGE: That's why I use my brother's system. The big problem is the waste of time.
2004-09-19-10-10-51 CONFEDERATE: Wasting time is such a western concept. As a Zen master once said, 'Ho hum, I have sat by the river for forty years selling water and I have accomplished nothing.'
2004-09-19-10-11-45 JUDGE: What did you think of the latest Harry Potter movie?
2004-09-19-10-12-07 CONFEDERATE: I didn't see it. I didn't want to ruin my enjoyment of the book, as the other two movies did.
2004-09-19-10-13-26 JUDGE: That makes sense. I saw the first two and wasn't thrilled.
2004-09-19-10-14-00 CONFEDERATE: My favorite movie is The City of Lost Children. What is yours?
2004-09-19-10-14-43 JUDGE: I was just talking about Miller's Crossing last night. That's a great movie.
2004-09-19-10-14-57 CONFEDERATE: I agree, although I did see that particulation selection quite a long time ago.
2004-09-19-10-16-25 JUDGE: Did you see the Lord of the Rings series?
2004-09-19-10-17-02 CONFEDERATE: Yes. Again, the books were better.
2004-09-19-10-17-21 JUDGE: Definitely.
2004-09-19-10-17-38 CONFEDERATE: Do you hate lawyers?
2004-09-19-10-18-03 JUDGE: I don't have strong feelings one way or the other. Why do you?
2004-09-19-10-18-07 CONFEDERATE: Sometimes.
2004-09-19-10-18-49 JUDGE: What about lawyers do you hate/.
2004-09-19-10-18-56 CONFEDERATE: Their value system.
2004-09-19-10-19-50 JUDGE: How's the coffee? Have you tried it?
2004-09-19-10-20-17 CONFEDERATE: The coffee is bitter and filled with a drug that helps to prevent me from sleeping.
2004-09-19-10-20-53 JUDGE: What's your occupation?
2004-09-19-10-20-59 CONFEDERATE: I am a lawyer.
2004-09-19-10-21-20 JUDGE: I'm sorry. What kind of law do you practice?
2004-09-19-10-21-49 CONFEDERATE: Don't be sorry unless you did something wrong. I temp to make money and pursue my dreams at night when the light is gone.
2004-09-19-10-22-24 JUDGE: You temp as a lawyer?
2004-09-19-10-22-33 CONFEDERATE: Yes. Document review.
2004-09-19-10-28-51 CONFEDERATE: Hello, my name is Laura and I am a human.
2004-09-19-10-30-14 JUDGE: Hi, I m Roy. Are you a Yankees fan?
2004-09-19-10-30-27 CONFEDERATE: I don't like baseball.
2004-09-19-10-31-19 JUDGE: What about football?
2004-09-19-10-31-37 CONFEDERATE: I used to be a Cowboys fan.
2004-09-19-10-32-27 JUDGE: Did you live in Texas?
2004-09-19-10-32-31 CONFEDERATE: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-32-59 JUDGE: Which part?
2004-09-19-10-33-06 CONFEDERATE: El Paso.
2004-09-19-10-33-58 JUDGE: I don't know that. I did spend a few weeks in Fort Worth once.
2004-09-19-10-34-34 CONFEDERATE: El Paso is right on the border with Mexico. And is 14 hours away from Fort Worth.
2004-09-19-10-35-02 JUDGE: Did you grow up there?
2004-09-19-10-35-08 CONFEDERATE: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-35-38 JUDGE: What was that like?
2004-09-19-10-36-10 CONFEDERATE: Boring. Nothing compared to living here in NY which I am doing now.
2004-09-19-10-36-33 JUDGE: What excites you most about NY?
2004-09-19-10-36-43 CONFEDERATE: That I am not in El Paso.
2004-09-19-10-37-55 JUDGE: Is it the people, the museums, the art gallerys, the bars?
2004-09-19-10-38-57 CONFEDERATE: Honestly, I just moved here. It really is the fact that it is just a more action packed city than where I used to live. I am finding it a bit frustrating here because of the lack of job opportunities at the moment.
2004-09-19-10-39-17 JUDGE: What kind of work are you looking for?
2004-09-19-10-39-46 CONFEDERATE: Something permanent that pays $14 or more the hour in an office type environment.
2004-09-19-10-40-23 JUDGE: What qualifications do you have?
2004-09-19-10-41-00 CONFEDERATE: I speak three languages and have worked in an office and know all the basice knowledge needed to do well for the past 10 yrs.
2004-09-19-10-41-46 JUDGE: What type of office did you work in?
2004-09-19-10-42-22 CONFEDERATE: First in a production company and then in a psychiatrist office.
2004-09-19-10-43-23 JUDGE: Was that a film production company?
2004-09-19-10-43-26 CONFEDERATE: Yes.
2004-09-19-10-44-49 JUDGE: Which one?
2004-09-19-10-45-04 CONFEDERATE: In an independent company based in El Paso.
2004-09-19-10-45-41 JUDGE: Did you meet any famous actors?
2004-09-19-10-46-43 CONFEDERATE: I met several B-list actors like- Chris Penn, James Russo, and an A-list director Alfonso Arau and Cliff Robertson (A-list actor).
2004-09-19-10-48-00 JUDGE: Something happened - your last answer was erased - can you repeat it?
2004-09-19-10-48-51 CONFEDERATE: I met several B-list actors like- Chris Penn, James Russo, and an A-list director Alfonso Arau and Cliff Robertson (A-list actor).
2004-09-19-10-49-31 JUDGE: Sound like fun. What movies were they working on?
2004-09-19-10-50-18 CONFEDERATE: Many are in Blockbuster and Hollywood video. Only one has gone to the big screen and one will be out later this year.
2004-09-19-10-51-18 JUDGE: What was the one that went to the big screen?
2004-09-19-10-51-29 CONFEDERATE: It was called Down for the Barrio.
2004-09-19-10-52-32 JUDGE: What genre?
2004-09-19-10-52-43 CONFEDERATE: Action-gang movie.
2004-09-19-10-53-44 JUDGE: Not my favorite. I'm more of a art house movie person.
2004-09-19-10-54-14 CONFEDERATE: I like all kinds but also that genre action-gangs aren't my cup of tea.
2004-09-19-11-04-18 CONFEDERATE: Hello, my name is Jill and I am the human.
2004-09-19-11-04-48 JUDGE: Hi, Jill!
2004-09-19-11-05-14 CONFEDERATE: Hi, 'judge'. Weird, it just dawned on me that you are talking to me and a computer claiming to be me at the same time. A bit eerie.
2004-09-19-11-05-31 JUDGE: Yes it's weird. But interesting, don't you think?
2004-09-19-11-05-46 CONFEDERATE: Definitely. I'm actually really excited about being here.
2004-09-19-11-06-05 JUDGE: It is a fascinating place, isn't it?
2004-09-19-11-06-49 CONFEDERATE: Yes, as a short answer. Though then I wonder if you're trying to trick me by using 'place' as if I'm supposed to say something about the place but then I don't know if that' s cheating or not.
2004-09-19-11-07-19 JUDGE: No, we're allowed to talk about anything, so the fellow says. But if you want to, we can talk about something else.
2004-09-19-11-07-58 CONFEDERATE: No, you're the judge, it's up to you. Though this computer doesn't have much leg room, which is a bit uncomfortable. But the whole experience is pretty zany. Sort of stereotypical 'crazy scientist' feeling.
2004-09-19-11-08-19 JUDGE: Yes. In fact, I thought I heard a definite 'mad scientist' cackle from the host.
2004-09-19-11-08-21 CONFEDERATE: More than one.
2004-09-19-11-09-08 JUDGE: Yes indeed. Far more than one. Is there something you especially like about this place?
2004-09-19-11-09-51 CONFEDERATE: It's quirky. I actually do a lot of photography of spaces. I like when a space really seems like it belongs to someone. When the identity of a person seems to really permeate.
2004-09-19-11-10-09 JUDGE: I agree. This is so 'New York,' too. Do you know what I mean?
2004-09-19-11-10-38 CONFEDERATE: Of course, I live here. Though it's actually pretty big by new york standards. But intelligent and cramped and cluttered, yes.
2004-09-19-11-11-05 JUDGE: Indeed. I enjoy clutter, actually. Far more interesting than all neat and organized!
2004-09-19-11-11-29 CONFEDERATE: Weird, I feel like the experiment is getting to me. Some of your comments seem like you're a computer.
2004-09-19-11-11-44 JUDGE: Well, I work with computers a lot. Perhaps its all rubbing off on me.
2004-09-19-11-12-40 CONFEDERATE: That makes sense. Actually, I travel a lot. And when I'm in a foreign place even my english starts seemign strangely accented, with weird syntax, since I'm trying to mimic the ESL of people in that place (but it happens unintentionally, mostly).
2004-09-19-11-13-44 JUDGE: I know what you mean. I've been in New York for so long people tell me I have a New York accent, but I'm really from the midwest. Where do you like to travel?
2004-09-19-11-15-05 CONFEDERATE: I like traveling, in general. I've seen more of other countries than the u. S. Though. When it's the same price to go to guatemala as somewhere on the west coast, it seems like a waste not to go abroad. I just spent three weeks in guatemala and honduras with my boyfriend. I've lived in prague, barcelona, argentina...
2004-09-19-11-15-56 JUDGE: Sounds exciting! The farthest I've been from the United States is Toronto. I've been to Mexico, too, but just across the border. I have friends all over the world, however. So, you speak languages other than English?
2004-09-19-11-16-09 CONFEDERATE: I speak spanish pretty fluently, at least for a gringa.
2004-09-19-11-16-40 JUDGE: I studied spanish very briefly once. Alas, I speak only English. Which do you prefer, English or Spanish?
2004-09-19-11-18-29 CONFEDERATE: Yikes. I am far more fluent in english, and there are times in spanish that one word covers two different words in english and it frustrates me - the word is the same for to hope, to wait for, to expect and when I want to say one but specifically not the other I get a little angry that I don't have the write word. That said, the sound of spanish is pretty intoxicating. The way it rolls- I feel suaver speaking in spanish, more fun, relaxed. But more myself in english, more clipped and tangential and frenetic. More new york, you could say.
2004-09-19-11-18-51 JUDGE: The sound of Spanish is ... ? Mellufluous?
2004-09-19-11-20-35 CONFEDERATE: That sounds like a word I know, but I couldn't give you the definition. Maybe I've just never seen it spelt (spelled, I guess that would be) before. Melo-fluous ah, well. I think I'd do worse on the SAT verbal section now than I did in high school. Actually, I taught sat classes while I was in college. And now I don't even know if I can prove I'm human.
2004-09-19-11-21-01 JUDGE: Actually I think I misspelled the word. You taught SAT classes in college? Did you have many students?
2004-09-19-11-21-30 CONFEDERATE: Not so many. I hear at the new york offices they have like 40 kids per class. I had about 12.
2004-09-19-11-22-06 JUDGE: Wow, forty is a lot of kids. Twelve sounds much more manageable. Did you enjoy teaching the classes?
2004-09-19-11-24-00 CONFEDERATE: I liked teaching the verbal classes more than math, just because I was more comfortable. I could teach the math decently, but invariably there'd be a math whiz in the class who could jump right to the answer. I knew how to explain the kaplan methods for doing the problem, but couldn't judge instantly (in front of lots of students) if the math kid's other way of solving the problem was something that would work in all problems. So it stressed me out a bit. Generally it was a good job, though, for part time. Wouldn't necessarily do it again.
2004-09-19-11-24-55 JUDGE: Yes. You have to think quickly and that can be intimidating in front of lots of people. I have better verbal than math skills, too. However, lately I have worked as a bookkeeper. What do you do for a living?
2004-09-19-11-25-57 CONFEDERATE: I work part-time in a darkroom. I actually quit my full-time job as a photo assisant just before I left for guatemala. Now I have time to do freelance- writing and photography- but there's definitely something scary about it.
2004-09-19-11-26-24 JUDGE: That sounds interesting actually. What do you think is scarey about it?
2004-09-19-11-26-43 CONFEDERATE: Super interesting. And fun. Not having security is the main scary bit.
2004-09-19-11-27-11 JUDGE: Ah, yes. It's nice to have a steady income that you can count on. What do you like about freelancing, though?
2004-09-19-11-28-23 CONFEDERATE: The best and worst part is the same thing- not working for someone else. Actually owing it to yourself/your job to be creative. But then there's a weird guilt- like if I sleep late or sit around my apartment staring at the computer and nothing good comes... Then I think, damn, I should've just worked at mcdonalds today, would've been more productive.
2004-09-19-11-28-46 JUDGE: Yes. At least you would have gotten out of the house! But McDonalds can be boring, don't you think?
2004-09-19-11-29-25 CONFEDERATE: Oh, all in all of course I don't wanna work there, I wanna do what I'm doing now. It's just more personal responsibility. But I guess doing anything you care about means more of that
2004-09-19-11-36-14 CONFEDERATE: Hello my name is Ben and I am the human.
2004-09-19-11-36-56 JUDGE: Hi Ben, my name is S t e v e n
2004-09-19-11-37-26 CONFEDERATE: Steven? Or S t e v e n? Or is it one and the same?
2004-09-19-11-37-44 JUDGE: It's the same, I just went a little crazy there....
2004-09-19-11-38-07 CONFEDERATE: No problem. We all do once in a while. Have you ever totally lost your mind?
2004-09-19-11-38-24 JUDGE: No, just a little here and there, but then it comes back again.
2004-09-19-11-38-54 CONFEDERATE: That's good to know. It likes a boomerang.
2004-09-19-11-39-27 JUDGE: So what do you do in life as we know it?
2004-09-19-11-40-53 CONFEDERATE: Well, 'we' may not know life the same way. In life as I know it, I'm unemployed. But I still do lots. I particulary enjoy baseball, comedy writing, and rock shows.
2004-09-19-11-41-07 JUDGE: I like rock *climbing*.....
2004-09-19-11-42-00 CONFEDERATE: At rock shows my mind often 'climbs' to new heights... Particularly depending on the type of show and what substances are involved.
2004-09-19-11-42-25 JUDGE: What substances are typically involved?
2004-09-19-11-42-52 CONFEDERATE: Depends. Marijuana is the old standby.
2004-09-19-11-43-36 JUDGE: It never did much for me.
2004-09-19-11-43-59 CONFEDERATE: To each his own. What does it for you... Substances or otherwise?
2004-09-19-11-44-28 JUDGE: Well, booze. Climbing. Coffee. Really good tomato sauce.
2004-09-19-11-45-13 CONFEDERATE: Maybe I should go to a rock show with a really big bottle of tomato sauce. It would ne a consciousness-expanding experience.
2004-09-19-11-46-00 JUDGE: You might be pleasantly surprised.
2004-09-19-11-46-59 CONFEDERATE: Perhaps... Or bitterly disappointed. But I guess you never know until you try it. I'll put it on my 'to-do' list.
2004-09-19-11-47-07 JUDGE: Is that a very long list?
2004-09-19-11-48-00 CONFEDERATE: Infinite. Every time I do something, I think of at least three things I still want to do. Right now it's about 260 pages long, single spaced. College ruled.
2004-09-19-11-48-31 JUDGE: Well, that's still a finite length. If it were infinite, you couldn't put anything new on it, which would be quite a drag.
2004-09-19-11-49-00 CONFEDERATE: Okay. Finite on paper, infinite in my mind. There's a difference.
2004-09-19-11-49-18 JUDGE: I'm guessing you weren't a math major....
2004-09-19-11-49-31 CONFEDERATE: No, I like having sex.
2004-09-19-11-49-57 JUDGE: You could have sex as a math major, so long as you didn't tell anyone.
2004-09-19-11-50-29 CONFEDERATE: Yeah, but it just doesn't seem to work for those guys. I spy on them sometimes. It's laughable, but ultimately quite sad.
2004-09-19-11-50-41 JUDGE: So what was your sex-filled major?
2004-09-19-11-51-37 CONFEDERATE: Communications. Perhaps not sex-filled. But it made some crucial cameo appearances.
2004-09-19-11-51-50 JUDGE: Communications??! Talk about sad....
2004-09-19-11-52-34 CONFEDERATE: As I said before, I'm unemployed. Now my feelings are hurt. A single tear is slowing flowing down my cheek.
2004-09-19-11-52-53 JUDGE: How do you think I felt about that math major crack?
2004-09-19-11-53-42 CONFEDERATE: I didn't realize you were a math major. My apologies, then. We're even. I hope we've both learned an important lesson about being sensitive to others.
2004-09-19-11-54-09 JUDGE: Actually, I wasn't. But I was hurt anyway. I was emphathically a math major.
2004-09-19-11-54-45 CONFEDERATE: What was you major, then? I promise I won't make fun of it.
2004-09-19-11-54-51 JUDGE: Communications.
2004-09-19-11-55-23 CONFEDERATE: So you're unemployed too, then!
2004-09-19-11-55-57 JUDGE: No, and actually I was joking. Twice, actually, I was a math major, and philosophy. A double major. And a concentration in dance.
2004-09-19-11-57-07 CONFEDERATE: Very well rounded. But after all this 'joking', I'm not sure that I trust you anymore. Our once stable relationship is on some very rocky ground. Perhaps you can do an interpretive dance based on our floundering relationship.
2004-09-19-11-58-00 JUDGE: I sense that we're on shaky ground. And it could get worse. What if some wires got crossed, and I turned out to be a computer program?
2004-09-19-11-58-46 CONFEDERATE: Then I'd probably like you better. I'd blame your deficiencies on your programmer.
2004-09-19-11-59-15 JUDGE: Do I have deficiencies?
2004-09-19-12-00-09 CONFEDERATE: Well, I want to get off the negative. Let's be positive. I find you quick-witted and engaging.
2004-09-19-12-00-18 JUDGE: Thanks!!!!
2004-09-19-12-00-45 CONFEDERATE: No problem. I don't want any bad karma as a result of our conversation.
2004-09-19-12-00-58 JUDGE: Sure. It might affect future lifetimes.
2004-09-19-12-01-17 CONFEDERATE: Exactly, and that's a risk I don't want to take. I could come back as a math major!